Okay, I think I’ve made it abundantly clear how much I enjoyed the Tom Waits gig. It was incredible – the greatest concert I’ve ever been to.
But…
On October 14th there is a special gig in aid of Amnesty International in Vicar Street and two of my all time favourite artists are performing together.
It’s Duke Special vs. The Divine Comedy!!! I can’t tell you how excited I am. I have been a Neil Hannon fan for as long as I can remember and Duke is just godlike:
Tickets go on sale on Wednesday 13th and are €29 each. I will be going. Who’s joining me? Let me know and we can all make a night of it.
A huge congratulations to Mr Anthony. He passed his driving test and has thrown away the L plates. Well done, mate!
I can’t drive. I have no real urge to drive. I’ve never been one of those blokes who was into their cars. I’ve never really needed to drive and while I probably rely on Lottie a little too much, I don’t think she minds (maybe!).
I will get around to it at some stage. It’s not fair to have Lottie drive us everywhere. But…I just don’t want to. Do I have to learn how to drive?
One of the funniest movies ever made is the eighties hit, Trading Places. It’s on TV at the moment and I can’t help but watch it again. I’ve seen it dozens of times and it never gets old.
Dan Aykroyd plays Louis Wynthorpe, a wealthy market trader, while Eddie Murphy plays Billy Valentine, a down and out bum. As a bet Whythorpes’ employers frame him and turn him into a bum while promoting Valentine to his old position.
I love it. If you’ve never seen it, what’s wrong with you?
I‘ve been tagged, or skilletted (as coined by Grandad) to do another meme, and since I’m fresh out of original blog ideas, I thought I’d give this a go.
The gist of this one is to cast the movie of your life. Who would play you and your significant others if your life was put on film.
The Rules!
List the people who would play you, and the key people in your life.
Give credit to the person who tagged you. Mr Kieron!
To play me, I’m thinking James Spader. Fine, I know he’s a touch too old but if this is a Hollywood movie then age rules don’t really apply. The man is ridiculously cool. He’s good looking in an odd way and often plays oddballs. I like that.
Failing that, maybe Ryan Phillippe might work a bit better. Right age. Right look.
Of course, the problem with them is they are American and the thoughts of my accent being smashed to death by them on the big screen is frightening, so it might be better to go for Cillian Murphy, perhaps?
For my youth, it would have to be that kid from Love Actually, Thomas Sangster. He’s just brilliant. There’s a peculiar rumour circulating at the moment that he might be playing Tintin in Spielberg’s trilogy. I don’t see that working.
For Lottie, I’d have to go looking for Michelle Pfeiffer. It’d be wrong not to. The age thing might be an issue, but to have Pfeiffer play my other half (particularly during those years where all Lottie wore was the Catwoman outfit) would be a dream come true.
For a long while Lottie was told she looked like a young Nicole Kidman, so she might be good for the role. But then there’s that age thing again. I’m thinking Kirsten Dunst might suit the part. She’s hot, intelligent, funny – perfect to play Lottie.
For the younger version of her it would have to be Saoirse Ronan.
If Spader plays me, then it stands to reason that Shatner will have to play Darragh. The age thing is less of an issue as it’s the Shat – he can do whatever the hell he likes.
If Spader‘s out, then I’m thinking we could call in WETA to do some of their Gollum/King Kong wizardry again. We could even call upon the talents of Andy Serkis.
Amy the Cat would have to be played by a real star. I’m thinking that brave dog in I Am Legend. I can’t see anyone else in the role.
Biomammy could be played by Susan Sarandon or maybe Zoe Wanamaker (a bit too old?). I’m sure she’d prefer to have someone like Cate Blanchett cast in the role. Although if Spader‘s playing me and he’s 9 years older than Blanchett, things would get confusing.
As I write this, I’m starting to think more about the story that would unfold in a two hour story of my life. I don’t really see it being that interesting. There’d be a lot of barmen in my story. I think they should all be played by Bill Murray, even the barwomen. I see my biopic being more of a comedy musical. Jim Broadbent could reprise his Moulin Rouge Harry Zidler role and play my father. Will Ferrell could play that teacher that inspired me. Harold and Kumar could play my childhood chums who get up to hi-jinx all the time.
Thinking about it, my life’s story will probably just lie in development hell for years before finally getting a straight-to-DVD release and swiftly retiring to the bargain bin beside Beethoven’s 5th: Big Paw.
A bunch of unknowns are more likely to play all the roles. I’d still like to think Shatner would cameo though.
Hmmm, more thought is required.
In the meantime, I’d like to tag Little Miss (although she’s away on holliers). Lottie, I’d be interested in reading your take on this one. Ray, I think you’d have fun with this one – what do you think? And I would love to see what Pedro comes up with. Perhaps it would be an epic lego movie? Bill Murray could do all the voices. Go on, you know you want to.
Before Friday night, I can’t think of a time I was truly starstruck. I was a bit tongue-tied when I met Gay Byrne last year, but apart from that, I don’t think I’ve ever come close to being starstruck.
When Tom Waits stepped out on stage, he looked ten feet tall. A combination of the rapturous cheers, the perfectly targeted spotlights and Waits’ natural charisma made him the most alluring man on the planet at that moment. I was in awe. I’m not sure if I cheered – I may have just stared. Of course, I was not as overcome as the American guy behind me who screamed uncontrollably and looked close to tears. Understandable!
All this, before the man sang a single note.
But that’s the thing about Tom Waits. I’m not sure anyone can really claim to be there purely for his singing ability. His croaking growl and haphazard disregard for his own melodies is trademark. If the pop divas of yesteryear made you soar high above the clouds with their voices, then Tom Waits grabs you by the throat and drags you through the muddy swamp with his.
It’s fair to say he’s unique. His sound is unmistakable. It’s his and only his and 3,000 people have gathered in a suitably theatrical circus tent, The Rat Cellar, in Phoenix Park to witness the spectacle.
And so, the show began. Lucinda began the set and Tom’s rhythmic stomp on the white powdered stage was further evidence that this night was going to be special both musically and visually. This weather-worn giant in his dirty hat and haggard suit took mere seconds to whip the crowd into a frenzy. Whoops and cheers ascended to the stage and within a few songs it was clear that Waits was enjoying this as much as we were. There was the briefest of moments when he was introducing one of the songs where he lost track of his story and just looked out across the adoring crowd. The man smiled. He was happy to be in Ireland. He was happy to be in Dublin. And at that moment, he was happy to be right there.
The tour is called Glitter and Doom. If the closing part of the show (including encore) is the ‘Glitter‘ section, then the first part must be ‘Doom‘. He played some of his darker, hell-born songs in this section. Raindogs, Falling Down, I’ll Shoot the Moon and one of my all time favourite Tom Waits tracks, God’s Away on Business would be depressing if they weren’t so feverishly frightening. Lottie captured a brilliant video of Gods Away on Business, for which I’ll be eternally grateful:
But it was the middle section, the piano set, that allowed Waits’ genius to shine. Incredible renditions of The House Where Nobody Lives and Innocent When You Dream followed a beautiful version of Tom Traubert’s Blues, a song that Waits seemed to sing purely for his own enjoyment. It was wonderful to see him enjoy a song so much that he has been performing since 1976. The track is still fresh today, as Lottie’s video shows:
Hoist That Rag, probably the closest thing that Tom has to a dance tune, was responsible for dragging people into the aisles. As the people left their seats, the samba rhythms and growling repetitive chorus provided one of the highlights of a night filled with highs.
And one of the greatest of these moments used the simplest of props to unparalleled effect. The creepy and funny tale of the Eyeball Kid was punctuated by Tom’s mirrorball hat, which sent shards of light around the tent. Spectacular in the truest sense of the word.
We were six rows from the front, dead centre, the best seats in the house. I doubt I’m alone now in saying that the high ticket price was completely worth every cent. As we milled out of the tent after the nearly 2 1/2 hour set, I realised that I would happily pay the price again to re-live the show.
In a year of musical highs, where I met the wonderful Juliet Turner, where I attended my first festival, where I got to dance with Duke Special and where I watched Bono’s image rile a JayZ crowd, at the Tom Waits gig in Phoenix Park on 1st August 2008, I was witness to an event, a moment that I will be talking about for decades. This was, and I say this without hesitation, the greatest gig I have ever seen.
Thank you, Lottie, for getting me the tickets for my birthday, and thank you, Tom Waits, for being a marvel, a giant, a presence, something I will never forget.
Once again this morning I almost had my head sliced off by another team of umbrella-toting idiots.
Here’s a question – why are they sharp? Really, in this day and age, why on earth are these things pointy and sharp? Surely someone could have invented an umbrella without pointed edges that are designed to target eyeballs!!!
I have gzillions of blogs in my feedreader, all broken down into different sections, all divided up by importance, topic, in some cases nationality and I rarely get through all of them anymore. But there’s one blog which I look forward to each day and that’s Positive Boredom.
B’dum B’dum is just a youngfella, but his writing is clever, funny and keeps me coming back for more. He works in the seemingly mundane environment of a supermarket, but manages to find real life stories and events that are hilarious. I guess it’s his point of view and his opinions on these situations that makes it funny.
He has a fewposts on Customer Profiles. One particular customer he encounters is the Man From the Past, the Diabetic Cavemen who has gone through his life oblivious to the health implications of anything and now, in this latter stage of his life when he’s worried about his health, diabetes especially, he takes a trip to B’dum B’dum’s shop to buy healthily.
So it’s 8am, the shop’s just opened. Mr Caveman, utterly bewildered, steps in the front door of a shop for the first time in his life. He instantly stops and the first shelf.
Mr: Hey you! Son, c’mere. Me: Uh hm, yeah? Mr: Where are the ingredients and stuff for these? They’re not on them anywhere. Me: Well those there are Fruit and Vegetables, the only ingredient in them is themselves. Mr: Yeah, but where’re the ingredients? Me: I’m sorry, I dunno. Mr: Christ almighty, you’re meant to be working here FOR ME y’know?
*I nod and run off*
He is also extremely self-referential in the funniest of ways as his post on going to his mate’s birthday party shows. He brought him a 21st birthday card and a 1st birthday card (his mate was turning 22)
I showed him my cards… he didn’t get it. Being so desperate for approval that I started a blog so virtual people could give me extra approval and just have to click “delete” to get rid of anything negative, I had to find people who found it funny…
Today’s post is uncharacteristically short, but no less funny – check it out.
I think the reason I find his posts so entertaining is it reminds me of my years working in Tesco (and Quinnsworth). The characters you meet and the endless run of managers you go through. It is a hotbed of blog posts. B’dum B’dum, I look forward to someday buying you a pint, but until then, I’ll make do with reading your brilliant blog.
That was one hell of a busy week, with very little time spent online. That said, there were a few things this week that made me smile.
Firstly, a huge, colossal, massive and pretty big piece of news. This is my 200th post. I have published 200 pieces of crap for you lot to ponder over for the past five months. 🙂
Slashfilm provided some news that I’m unsure is good news or not. I’m going to go with Good simply because it’s talking about the great Rocky Horror Picture Show. My interest is piqued and I’m open to it being a good thing: MTV are remaking the RHPS. Sacrilegious? Maybe! But it’s always good seeing different versions of the show – this could be great. It could be! Really! Shut up and move on…
This is good news depending on your point of view. If you like jokes about necrophilia, then this is for you. I laughed out loud:
The Diet of Worms made it to Edinburgh. Yay them! When they were there last year they got to see Kristen Schaal (the crazy fan from Flight of the Conchords). Here she is:
And the greatest, if most inevitable news ever, sent to me by Lottie, via MarieClaire: Tim Burton is to direct the live action remake of Alice in Wonderland and guess who’ll be playing the Mad Hatter? You guessed it – Johnny Depp! Woohoo!
Oh, and last, but not least, the best news of the week – it’s my birthday tomorrow!!! Yay me!
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I see my biopic being more of a comedy musical. Jim Broadbent could reprise his Moulin Rouge Harry Zidler role and play my father. Will Ferrell could play that teacher that inspired me. Harold and Kumar could play my childhood chums who get up to hi-jinx all the time.
