Aug 05 2008

I Still Hate Umbrellas

Published by at 9:54 am under Blog

Once again this morning I almost had my head sliced off by another team of umbrella-toting idiots.

Here’s a question – why are they sharp? Really, in this day and age, why on earth are these things pointy and sharp? Surely someone could have invented an umbrella without pointed edges that are designed to target eyeballs!!!

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18 responses so far

18 Responses to “I Still Hate Umbrellas”

  1. Darraghon 05 Aug 2008 at 10:12 am

    I reckon it’s a conspiracy, meself.

  2. Lottieon 05 Aug 2008 at 10:12 am

    Right there with you. At laest there is some joy in watching people struggling with them as they fly inside out.

  3. Garyon 05 Aug 2008 at 10:28 am

    If they did manage to invent harmless umbrellas, then how the hell would we get rid of Tubridy?!

  4. Joon 05 Aug 2008 at 10:43 am

    Tubridy is part umberella. On his father’s side. His mother was a deck chair.

  5. Davidon 05 Aug 2008 at 10:51 am

    They’re all out to get you Darren – one umbrella at a time…

    @ Jo ‘Tubridy is part umberella. On his father’s side. His mother was a deck chair.’ – brilliant! 😀

  6. Keironon 05 Aug 2008 at 10:52 am

    I still don’t get this umbrella thing…. Maybe I’m not as tall as the rest of you and it would only be midgets with umbrellas that would cause me a problem?

  7. Kitty Caton 05 Aug 2008 at 12:13 pm

    Don’t you just love it when a muppet with a GOLF umbrella sends a litre of water down the back of your neck as it pours off the edge of their brolly. It’s called a golf umbrella for a reason! Not a walking-in-a-crowd-umbrella. Grr

  8. Lottieon 05 Aug 2008 at 12:19 pm

    I am a brolly hater through and through. I was forced to purchase one last weekend as I was about to go to the hairdressers and the once sunny clear sky was turning a menacing shade of grey.

    So I picked up on in Pennys for €4. I though that’s fine – I wont feel bad about binning it later.

    When I finished in the hairdressers it was pelting down. I stepped outside and opened the brolly. Immediately a gust of wind turned it inside out, the stupid clasp on it cut my hand.

    I struggled with the blasted thing for about 5 minutes before making my way through the city. I remember thinking, “I hope nobody sees me with this thing”.

    Stupid brollys!!!

  9. Darrenon 05 Aug 2008 at 12:24 pm

    @Darragh It is! They’re out to get me!

    @Lottie Except they fly off and hit me. 🙁

    @Gary Good point. Haven’t seen much of him lately. Must go on the hunt.

    @Jo lol 😀

    @Dave I know, I know. I constantly have to watch my step in case a guerilla-brella attacks.

    @Kieron Midgets with umbrellas are problems for us all. 🙂

    @Kitty Absolutely! I have actually taken umbrellas from people who hit me with them. If they can’t be careful, then they can’t have them. ESPECIALLY golf umbrellas.

  10. Darrenon 05 Aug 2008 at 12:24 pm

    @Lottie I put it in the bin this morning!

  11. Lottieon 05 Aug 2008 at 12:26 pm

    My hero!

  12. Keironon 05 Aug 2008 at 12:37 pm

    In which case maybe there should be more stringent rules on the sale of um-brolly’s?

    A height chart like they have at theme parks for a start.
    An IQ test.

    Any more?

  13. Andrewon 05 Aug 2008 at 1:25 pm

    Perhaps a kind of ‘umbella driver’s licence’ is needed. Well, if they have them for computers…

    No doubt about it, umbrellas are nasty yokes only used regularly by complete and utter lady-gardens.

  14. Andrewon 05 Aug 2008 at 1:26 pm

    where’s that ‘edit comment’ thing you used to have gone to ? I spelt fucking umbrella wrong!

  15. Lottieon 05 Aug 2008 at 1:27 pm

    Good idea. Maybe something along the lines of the Umbrella Inspector skit by Meave Higgins in Naked Camera (can’t find it on you-tube).

  16. B'dumon 05 Aug 2008 at 2:36 pm

    I reckon the reason lotsa old people have umbrellas is so the can use them as a walking stick without looking like they have to use a walking stick

  17. Sinéadon 06 Aug 2008 at 2:51 am

    As a ridiculously short person, I am probably a culprit in taking out of eyes with umbrellas, but rest assured the averagely-heighted person’s day comes when it comes to being able to reach the hand bars on the Luas and getting things from high presses.

  18. le craicon 06 Aug 2008 at 8:55 pm

    My umbrella is far too big (a massive Nike golf umbrella) but it does keep my dry as a bone. I am a very considerate umbrella user though and always keep an eye around me to make sure I’m not sticking it in someones eye.

    I think we should all move somewhere that we don’t need umbrellas, or roads for that matter. Back to the future anyone?

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