Oct 22 2008

Voices Singing, Let’s Be Jolly, My Arse

Published by at 8:12 pm under Blog

I Hate ChristmasAfter my glass of white and some tasty seafood chowder, I left the Hairy Lemon (I refer to the bar and not Darragh) and headed towards my DART. I have been listening to the one album pretty much non-stop for two weeks, so today I decided to throw my iPod on shuffle and see what happened. This morning’s If You Could Read My Mind was a lovely surprise. This evening I heard a nice short piece from Carmen, a decent track from the Buffy soundtrack, Lucky by Bif Naked (no, I’ve never heard of them either), and then Brenda Lee came on singing Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree.


I was standing on the platform, there was a clichéd chill in the air, the wind rustled stuff (crisp bags and bits of tin foil) and I wondered…is it that time of year again already?

The streets around where I work will be taken up with busy idiots. There will be fights and tears and 24 hour drunkenness. The TV will abandon anything resembling quality broadcasting and all we’ll hear from radio DJ’s is “Sure, you can never have too much Fairytale of New York”. I hate the shallow adverts and the amount of debt we invariably accrue. I hate seeing hurried mothers and their nagging brats shouting “I want, I want, I want”. I hate the vomit on the footpath as I walk up to work. I hate Christmas work parties. They’re uncomfortable, boring and ultimately end in tears. And I hate that the ‘season’ seems to start earlier every year. Debenhams are selling their Christmas stock already. There is already an increase in ‘must-have’ toys ads on TV. I have already been asked far too many times what my Christmas plans are. Bah bah humbug. It’s October 22nd and it’s already irritating me.

20 responses so far

20 Responses to “Voices Singing, Let’s Be Jolly, My Arse”

  1. raptureponieson 22 Oct 2008 at 8:18 pm

    It’s autumn for goodness sake!

  2. Xbox4NappyRashon 22 Oct 2008 at 8:22 pm

    Santa, is that you?

  3. Grannymaron 22 Oct 2008 at 9:05 pm

    Did you not hear?

    Christmas is cancelled this year!

    FF slipped that one past you while everyone was crying for the wee pensioners! 😉

  4. Maxi Caneon 22 Oct 2008 at 9:10 pm

    I’ve kidnapped Santa and tied him to the radiator in my spare room. There shall be no Christmas.

  5. Xbox4NappyRashon 22 Oct 2008 at 9:15 pm

    Early hours of December 25th, 2008.

    Sky News – BREAKING NEWS.

    Reports are coming through that Father Christmas and three reindeer have been killed this morning when their craft lost all power over Finglas, Ireland.

    Unconfirmed eyewitness reports say that it seemed that the sleigh was unable to sustain the added weight of what appeared to be a household radiator handcuffed to Santa’s ankles.

    In other Irish news, Madonna has adopted another child, a girl, known only as ‘Kat’….

  6. Stanon 22 Oct 2008 at 10:23 pm

    Otter…….are planning to kill santa?!?!

  7. Maxi Caneon 22 Oct 2008 at 11:39 pm

    Upon questioning, a Mr Maxi Cane, Gardaí were a little taken aback when Mr Cane declared:

    “It couldn’t have been me, I was too busy fighting Madonna fans and starting my own country. With all the minister hiring, I’ve been far too busy to fuck with Santa.”

    Maxi is being held under the offenses against Christmas act 1974 and can be held for up to 96 without charge.

  8. raptureponieson 22 Oct 2008 at 11:40 pm

    Please don’t let the big boys trip up santa.

  9. Yer Manon 23 Oct 2008 at 12:53 am

    Santa vs Darren.
    Pencil it into the calendars guys.
    just in time for everyone to be given NOTHING 😀

    in all seriousness now, i do think that “the season” seems to be starting way to early each and every year..
    but we just gotta live with it i suppose

    unless you are willing to give us an oul protest Darren 😛

  10. Claireon 23 Oct 2008 at 2:02 am

    Christmas should be abolished. Bah…humbug!!

  11. Tatty Franeyon 23 Oct 2008 at 8:14 am

    Bah humbug indeed… hate xmas and xmas shopping and it being all about the presents. i’m lucky enough that no one in my family drinks, so at least i don’t have to put up with the drunken fights after dinner!!!

  12. Ray Foleyon 23 Oct 2008 at 9:43 am

    Sure, you can never have too much Fairytale of New York.

  13. Kitty Caton 23 Oct 2008 at 10:14 am

    Jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the waaay! Ok fine, it is starting too early but after Halloween is fair game as far as I’m concerned and I CAN”T WAIT I love Christmas! 😀 So there!

  14. Darrenon 23 Oct 2008 at 10:38 am


    @Xbox Is that you, Margaret?

    @GM 😆 Finally, a reason to vote for FF.

    @Maxi I knew there was a reason I liked you.

    @Stan No, but I will happily help Maxi Cane escape prosecution.

    @YerMan I’ll make a fortune on ticket sales.

    @Claire Hear hear!

    @Tatty Alcohol is the only thing that gets me through it all.

    @Ray How do I detune TodayFM from my radio?

    @Kitty Yeah, well, you’re wrong!

  15. Annieon 23 Oct 2008 at 12:21 pm


    Nah, just kidding, I feel your pain. I worked in Dunnez Boutiques (otherwise known as dunnes stores) for five Christmas’s and it sucked all the joy out of it for me. Christmas songs were put on repeat literally the day after Halloween, not to mention the shop floor being stuffed with decorations from September on. And then the January sales. Oh the horror. The horror!

  16. Lottieon 23 Oct 2008 at 4:04 pm

    Jingle Bells, Darren Smells la la la la la!

    Can we put up our Christmas tree yet?

  17. Darrenon 23 Oct 2008 at 4:37 pm

    @Annie Oh Jesus, that sounds awful. Were you in therapy for long after it?

    @Lottie No, go away, you freak!

  18. Voodooladyon 23 Oct 2008 at 5:38 pm

    I love Christmas, I’d be rockin around my christmas tree already if I could but in fairness that would be super weird in October.

  19. Joon 23 Oct 2008 at 8:52 pm

    Ha, Ray Foley, that was funny.

  20. Darrenon 24 Oct 2008 at 11:06 am

    @Voodoo If Lottie had her way she’d be doing the same. Don’t mind me – I’m just being a grump.

    @Jo I’m funny too. 🙁

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