Archive for December 23rd, 2008

Dec 23 2008

A Blogmas Carol

Published by under Blog

Following on from Will Knott’s Christmas Toy Story



Michael has been kidnapped and I have been ordered to rescue him, at any cost. He’s always ending up in scrapes like this and I’m always the one who has to pull him out of it.

I don’t complain…much…but I do find it very unfair. It’s always been this way. The heavy duty work always falls to me and when the mud flies, guess who bares the brunt of it?

As I leave our mobile HQ, the most uncomfortable truck known to man, Bonnie wishes me luck and this certainly perks me up. Since I first met her, I’ve always had a soft spot for her. But she only has eyes for Michael. He doesn’t even realise. This wonderful, funny, intelligent woman idolises him and instead he picks up random wannabe actresses and models, week after week.

It’s a reckless lifestyle and he’ll regret it when he’s older. He’ll end up a divorced and lonely drunk with children who despise and pity him in equal measure. I wonder if I’ll be around to pick up the pieces then, or will I have been replaced too.


So, I’ve to rescue him. I don’t even understand how he keeps getting into these situations. We began this mission together; we always do. Some well financed criminal types were trying to take away the family home of a young woman, Molly. Her parents were dead and she was all alone in the large house. Much of the surrounding land had already been bought up and the gang was trying to scare Molly into selling it cheap.

Michael and I were sent to help. We met her and her family lawyer, Byron Cartwright and, not long afterwards, we got into a scuffle with the gang. Though we won out that time, the gang got away unharmed. We knew they’d return, but rather than wait for that, we decided to investigate their base I didn’t think it was a good idea but Michael insisted.

And…unsurprisingly, while we we doing reconnaissance, the gang broke into Molly’s house and kidnapped her. It took a lot for me to hold back the “I told you so”.

We returned to the house and saw signs of a struggle. The gang was sloppy and left a tyre trail leading away from the house, deep into the surrounding fields. I was able to track them down and, as night fell, we found an abandoned house where they were holding Molly.

Though I disapproved Michael went on alone while I held back. It was not long before I heard fighting and glass smashing. Michael signalled me with his hi-tech watch and I came driving in. I smashed through the front door and knocked some of the gang unconscious. They’ll live.

Michael was fist fighting with one of the head bad guys and I saw one of his lackies run to attack Michael. I burst open my passenger side door and knocked him down.

Then, from the next room, the main boss arrived in with a gun. He was holding Molly too. I recognised him – we had met him before. He was Molly’s family lawyer, Byron Cartwright – we met him right at the start, when we first arrived at Molly’s house. It seems so obvious now.

Cartwright took Molly and Michael by gunpoint into his car outside. He just left me there to look on. But I knew this wasn’t the end – I knew this was to be continued…



So, at the exact same time, one week later, I have to go rescue Michael.

I drive out of HQ and head back to the gang’s base. I was able to track Michael from his watch’s tracking signal. My state of the art computer is unique. On super high turbo mode, I speed to the base. I take each corner with perfect precision. My red front grill seems to smile as I zoom through the desert vista. My sleek black design, my high tech gadgetry, my experimental engine are perfectly in tune. I am the ultimate weapon in the fight against crime. And, as I pull a handbrake turn into the gangs base, I feel empowered, invincible, victorious even.



I am startled then, as a large black van appears out of nowhere. The otherwise unassuming black van was made garish and obvious by the red line drawn around its sides.



Suddenly, I’m in darkness. Am I in storage? I can hear sounds. Through a crack in the wall in front of me I can see a lot of action centring around the black van. There’s a fresh excitement. It must be new – I remember this excitement when I first arrived, back when I was new.

A fight breaks out. I hear a voice –

I pity the fool!

Molly has been rescued. But where is Michael? I don’t see him; I see Molly wrapping her arms around four men, thanking them. Is Michael dead? Has he been replaced? Have I been replaced? As it gets darker, I hear a chilling epitaph, which surely signals my doom –

I love it when a plan comes together.


Have the bad guys won?

Knight Rider and KITT

The A-Team


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