Jul 11 2008

Cocaine Nosejobs

Published by at 7:30 am under Blog

On Ray Foley‘s show on Wednesday, he briefly touched on the subject of drugs. No, Foley did not dare delve into serious for any more than the briefest of moments (he would never try to steal Matt Cooper’s limelight). He mentioned his disinterest in drugs and how he also has a tendency to wipe his nose a lot. When he was out at a club/event/gig (I’m not sure, I wasn’t paying the best attention – I did have a lot of work to get through) he caught himself touching his nose and started to feel paranoid, so in an effort to disguise it, he began hiding his itchy nose when he wiped it, which could have only made it look more suspicious.

Why do I bring this up? Well, I’ve found myself doing the exact same thing on a number of occasions. I have mentioned before my hatred for drugs and the drug culture developing in Ireland today. I have never taken drugs, nor do I have any intention of. It is perhaps for this reason that I get so paranoid in clubs (particularly if they are very smoky around the entrance – I don’t cope well with cigarette smoke) when I catch myself wiping my nose. It may sound like a silly thing, but it is something that bothers me. I don’t want complete strangers thinking I’m on cocaine (or anything else for that matter) and I certainly don’t want people I do know to think I have some sort of secret habit that only surfaces when I’m in a nightclub, late bar or music gig.

Today, I’m off to Oxegen and I’m not stupid – I understand that drugs will certainly play a part in the festival. I’d like to think they won’t feature too much among my group of friends, but I am always the last to know about these things. I try not to judge – goodness knows there’s many things in my life I could be and have been judged for, so I would think it hypocritical of me to bring my judgment down upon others. I would claim to be open minded and liberal to a point, but when it comes to drugs – all I see is scumbags. There’s scumbags in tracksuits, scumbags in three piece suits, scumbags in haute couture and scumbags in pyjamas. My negative feelings towards drugs cross the class divides.

So, if you see me at any time over the weekend, dancing away and wiping my nose, allow to to assure you – all I am doing is wiping my nose. Do not offer me cocaine and do not try to buy some from me. I will happily take your money and then run away. Try catch me, scumbag! ๐Ÿ™‚

13 responses so far

13 Responses to “Cocaine Nosejobs”

  1. Davidon 11 Jul 2008 at 8:39 am

    I’ve never quite thought about what it might look like when I rub my nose (ditto on the smoke)… The thought that someone will suspect me of coke never really crossed my mind (but it is hard not to be offered something on a night out and not always as easy to be the one always saying ‘no ta’)

    Great pic too – Have a great time in da field with da muzac…

  2. Grannymaron 11 Jul 2008 at 9:36 am


  3. Joon 11 Jul 2008 at 10:03 am

    Heh, I get an itchy nose a lot, must be allergies, I know where you’re coming from. The husband also rubs his nose in a particularly suspicious way.

    I agree about the scumbag thing too, to an extent. Though I feel the same way about smoking. Especially people smoking in their cars. It looks so skanky. I dunno why.

  4. Darren.. tooon 11 Jul 2008 at 11:58 am

    LOL, this is brilliant. Someone rubbing their nose is the least of the signs of someone on coke. The bigger sign would be someone grinding their teeth and their general attitude. I wouldn’t worry about someone thinking you were on coke because you were rubbing your nose.

  5. Darrenon 11 Jul 2008 at 12:23 pm

    @David Well, I’m just Mr Paranoid!

    @Grannymar Thank you!

    @Jo Yeah, I’d agree with you on the smoking thing too.

    @D2 I’m proud of my innocence. ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. peter doneganon 11 Jul 2008 at 1:31 pm

    as long as you dont have an itchy arse… you might want to take something for that – feckin haemoroids right in the middle of a rock concert… Grandad would love that for a blog post!!

  7. benon 11 Jul 2008 at 1:42 pm

    i once sorted a sherbet fountain when i was ten, some buzz! Nose bled for about an hour!
    Enjoy your weekend!

  8. Niamhon 11 Jul 2008 at 4:37 pm

    I don’t care what it looks like, if my nose is itchy I’m gonna scratch it!
    Lol @ you with your careful nose scratching ๐Ÿ˜€

  9. Ray Foleyon 11 Jul 2008 at 6:24 pm

    Hey Darren – it’s something that happens me if I’m out drinking and the place is too warm, my nose tends to get mad itchy. I’m utterly destroyed by hayfever lately so that might be associated with it.

    But my nose isn’t just itchy: I’m constantly rubbing or scratching it. I’m a bit jarred and having a good time, scratching/rubbing every few seconds, all night, so it’s inevitable that people would think there’s something suspect going on there.

    But the subtle rubs only made me look even more shifty, as I looked around before I rubbed.

    I’m like you – I try to be as open-minded as possible with many things including drugs and my philosophy is generally “yeah, whatever you’re into, just not for me”, but it’s very off-putting. Which annoys even me, because I like to think of myself as non-judgemental. If that’s an expression. But there I go with the judging.

    JP made a good point on the air though: people would only think I was on coke if, while rubbing my nose, I was also an arrogant prick with a bad attitude.

    So I’m in the clear.

  10. That Sean Fellow From The Youtubes!on 15 Jul 2008 at 12:28 am

    Not once did i notice this whole nose-itchy-scratchy thingy on
    Saturday….you just made it all up!…..Although i suppose if you are that paranoid about it, you could always have put that Mr.Bump plaster on it, t’would have worked wonders!

    @Ray Foley Lol i know this is my immaturity just taking control of me here, but if you replace the word nose with a certain other part of the body, ’tis quite funny:D….im such a child…

  11. Rickon 16 Jul 2008 at 8:53 am

    Jaysus, I thought I was the only one with that paranoia!!

    The number of times I’ve come out of the jacks having a good scratch in the nosal area only to stop myself when someone looks at me strange…

    *holds hand up* Only person in the irish media never to have been offered cocaine. Ever. I think. I’m just obviously hanging out with the right people.


  12. Darrenon 16 Jul 2008 at 12:34 pm

    @Peter No, I’m all better now – the cream worked a treat, thanks!

    @Ben We snorted Vodka a few times when younger – not good, not good at all. Why would we even do that? Eejits!

    @Niamh Yes, yes, I’m aware of my ridiculous paranoia.

    @Ray I was in bits with the hayfever on Sunday at Oxegen. It was seriously pissing me off. I think I rub my nose out of habit though – my dad is always at his, so maybe I got it from him.

    Oh, and you, an arrogant prick? Never! Ahem! Bad attitude? No! Cough

    @Seanรญn Are you referring to blow jobs? Is it blow jobs you’re talking about? I just wanted to clarify because I’m unsure if you are talking about blow jobs or something else entirely. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    And Mr. Bump rocks!

    @Rick It’s good to know I’m not the only nutcase. Btw, would you like some cocaine?

  13. Joeon 26 Oct 2008 at 12:26 am

    Ray Foley, out drinking you say? You are doing drugs in which case.

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