May 24 2008

Adoption – One Year Later

Published by at 7:30 pm under A Year in my Life,Adoption,Blog

Click for larger imageIt is exactly a year to the day since I met my birth mother, and yesterday we met again and looked over one of the most eventful years in both our lives.

Lunch seemed like a good idea, except I really wasn’t feeling well, but we gave it a go in Davy Byrne’s on Duke Street. Soup and brown bread is all I could manage. One year ago in the Berkeley Court in Ballsbridge, around the same time of day, we had a glass of wine together and began to ask questions, as we both tried to hold back emotions and nerves. Well, any nervousness or apprehensions that may have been there then, have now all completely disintegrated, as we hug and immediate begin chatting about our respective lives.

We both have been very busy of late; I’ve joined the Blogosphere and as a result have gained an extra branch to my already hectic social life. She has been on holiday after holiday this year already, has had the twins confirmation, has been dealing with the kids breaking up for the summer holidays, worrying about her husband’s burgeoning music career (he’s joined a band as a drummer), on top of her already exhaustive mothering duties, and her own job. So, sadly, we have not had as much time to sit down and talk as we would have liked.

Click for larger imageAllow me to recap: 26ยฝ years ago, I was given up for adoption and gained a great home and a new name (my original birth certificate calls me Dominic). Early last year, I finally got up off my lazy arse and registered with the Adoption Preference register. Almost immediately there was a match, Teresa having been on the register since its launch three years earlier. After exchanging letter and emails we quickly arranged to meet and instantly hit it off. No awkwardness, no discomfort, no tension at all. On the same day, I met her brilliant husband (not my birth father) and not too long after that, I went down to Clare (the opposite side of the country to me) where I met my half-brothers and -sisters. I have two brothers now and two additional sisters (twins) to add to my own sister.

This last year has been fantastic. I have been down to Clare a number of times (the last time was for the twins confirmation and I wrote about it here and here), and they have visited us in Greystones. Towards the end of last year, the eldest of the four, Sean, who is now 16 (10 years my junior โ€“ oh God I feel old), stayed with us for a week and did Transition Year work experience with Lottie. It was wonderful having him up and being part of his life as well a the lives of my other new siblings.

So, one year on, conversation flows freely and easily and range from my reaction to meeting Teresa’s mother to Indiana Jones, from metaphysical discussions about fate to the final episode of Desperate Housewives. I only wish I was feeling a little less under the weather, but it was lovely seeing her again and I am happy things are still going so well.

Previous Posts

Adoption – In Search Of My Biomammy

Adoption Worries

Weekend In Clare – Saturday

How To Lose Your Good Mood In Three Easy Steps Hours

12 responses so far

12 Responses to “Adoption – One Year Later”

  1. Grannymaron 24 May 2008 at 8:21 pm

    Happy Anniversary of meeting your birth mother.

    I hope you are feeling better today.

  2. darraghon 24 May 2008 at 9:18 pm

    it’s an amazing experience and one that happens far too rarely. To sit opposite the woman who gave you life then have you up to have a better one, a better chance, an opportunity to get the best things from life that she doesn’t feel she can provide – it’s both humbling in realising what she had to do and delightful in relishing the rare chance to converse with a woman where the emotional attachment isn’t tainted with any childish bitterness of the punishments she felt she had to give, the rules she felt she had to enforce or the questions you may have about some of the decisions she made in her parenting.

    You know my friend how blessed I say you are with this story and how you appreciate it. Enjoy it.

    I hope someone’s inspired to perhaps look for their birth mother or get in touch if you’ve met but haven’t been in contact. All it takes is a simple word. Hello.

  3. Maryon 26 May 2008 at 8:51 am

    Darren, I always love reading about your experience of finding your mam and family, I always think it’s heartwarming and fantastic.
    I’m so glad it worked out so fantastic for you all and hope it continues to do so.

  4. Darrenon 27 May 2008 at 12:09 pm

    Thank you very much, especially Mary and Darragh for a multitude of reasons.

  5. Ruairion 13 Feb 2009 at 9:07 pm

    Nice post and congrats on the reunion. Best of luck in the blog awards next week.

  6. Darrenon 14 Feb 2009 at 9:41 pm

    @Ruairi Thank you very much for your kind words. It’s appreciated.

  7. MJon 18 Feb 2009 at 1:04 pm

    Best of luck next week!!

  8. MJon 18 Feb 2009 at 1:04 pm

    Best of luck on Saturday ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. darrenon 06 Nov 2010 at 12:43 am

    hi this is darren byrne also i googled my name and came across ur site its very strange reading about ur life and realising how scarily similar my life is im 28 and left my mother at a very early age and now a year ago have found i have a half brother and sister just thought id give some feed back.
    its a strangely earie world where there are 2 people with exactly the same name and a very similar life

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