The Crabling Otter

I admit it, I confess, I throw my hands up in the air and openly reveal that I do not understand a thing about this Lisbon Treaty vote. In recent days it is a topic that has come up in conversation quite a bit and when asked how I’ll vote, I’ve laughed, shrugged and said I’ll vote whatever way Lottie tells me to vote. I then quickly change the subject.

Funny and silly as it may sound, I realised that unless I made a conscious effort to find out more about this Lisbon thing, then I probably would just blindly follow my better half’s lead.

Little Lisbon Learning Day

So, today is my Little Lisbon Learning Day. I will find out what it’s all about and I will try to write about it in such a way that other complete political Luddites like myself can understand.

Where to begin? The Referendum Commission’s website? Fianna Fáil’s pro-Treaty site? The Libertas NO Site? The Wikipedia? Should I just go have coffee with someone who can explain it to me? Should I get Dick Roche on the phone?

Sarah Carey made a throw-away post a few days ago about not being around to vote on the treaty and I was all set to make a funny retort when I saw the comments ahead of me. Pete had asked what the Treaty was all about and Sarah gave a lengthly, informed and intelligent response, which I found quite helpful (further evidence that when you reply to a comment on your blog, you are not just replying to one person). A debate was sparked in the comments section of the post and I was quickly in over my head.

Sarah begins…

Here’s the deal: The EU is enlarging, so the old rules about decision making and some of the institutions don’t work so well any more. e.g vetos apply to practically everything; EVERY country is entitled to a commissioner; lots of people want to enable the EU to adopt a common position on criminal matters and foreign policy. There’s also more pressure to make the EU “more democratic” and really just work more efficiently.
SO the Lisbon Treaty is a series of amendments to various treaties and institutions.

Consulting other sources, such as the Treaty’s own website and the handbook that circulated, I found myself understanding the content, I could see what each bit meant and did, but I still found it baffling overall. And I doubt I’m the only one in this position.

It’s clear that the Treaty is about change. If ratified, our constitution will change; the powers that the EU have and can exert will change; the make up of the European Parliament will change; the way decisions are made will change; and there is emphasis on things that will not change. But to understand all these changes, we must first ask WHAT are we changing. I think here is where the problems begin for the layman and the Lisbon Treaty. The majority (I’m guessing) of people do not full understand what the EU is, what it does and what it already has the power to do. So, I’m first going to look at the current situation.

(As I raft through the Amazon river of information, I am already regretting taking this on)

The EU is governed at present by The European Commission, The Council of Ministers, The Parliament and the European council (which is made up of each of the European heads of State, led by a President). Laws are made by a process of co-decision, where the Commission proposes laws and policies, which are discussed by the Council of Ministers and the Parliament, before being decided upon jointly by the Parliament and the Council. The process differs for the Common Foreign and Security Policy, which is decided upon solely by the Council.

So what will change? Firstly, there will be a nifty bureaucratic name change. The standard co-decision process will be called the “Ordinary Legislative Procedure” and the decision made by the Council alone will be made under a “Special Legislative Procedure“. But what’s in a name, right? The important part is in the changes and the extensions to powers proposed to the “Ordinary Legislative Procedure”, which I will come to shortly.

European Commission

The Treaty will change how each governing body in the EU will operate. At present, each member state appoints a Commissioner to the European Commission (at present ours is Charlie McCreevy). The Treaty proposes to change this to allow just two-thirds of member states to nominate a Commissioner for each term (of 5 years) on a rotating basis. Simply put, this will mean that each member state will have a Commissioner for 10 of every 15 years. I can understand how this apparent reduction in individual state powers could be a point of controversy. A lot can happen in 5 years - think back to five years ago and look at the changes that have occurred both on the Irish stage and on the European and worldwide stages between then and now. In addition, one commissioner will hold the position of High Representative for Foreign Affairs and Security Policy.

Council of Ministers

The most significant proposed change to the Council of Ministers is in voting. At the moment, some decisions must be made unanimously while others are made by Qualified Majority Voting. According to QMV, each member state has a fixed number of votes. The number allocated to each country is roughly determined by its population, but progressively weighted in favour of smaller countries. When this voting system is used, no one country has a veto over the issue being debated. QMV is currently used when voting on issues relating to competition rules, consumer protection, environment and judicial co-operation in criminal matters. It is proposed to apply QMV to a number of new areas – these include energy, asylum, immigration, judicial co-operation in civil matters and sport.

At present, for a vote to pass under QMV, 74% of the total weighted votes are required. Under new proposals, this drops to 55%, i.e. 15 of the 27 member states, and those 15 states must represent 65% of the EU population. This may sound like the larger states can band together to overrule the QMV, but there is a provision which requires at least 4 member states to oppose the decision, preventing 3 of the largest states from blocking rulings of the QMV.

The new Treaty will make this system of qualified majority voting the norm when decisions are being taken, except where the EU Treaties require a different procedure (e.g. a unanimous vote). The literature is at pains to point out: Important policy areas for Ireland such as taxation and defense will continue to require a unanimous vote.

The Treaty also changes the arrangements for the Presidency of the Council of Ministers. At present the Presidency of the Council changes every six months. In the future, the Presidency will be provided by a team of three Member States working together over an 18-month period, except for the Foreign Affairs Council which will be chaired by the High Representative. This is designed to increase the coherence and efficiency of the Presidency.

European Council

At the moment, the European Council is chaired on a rotating basis by the head of Government of the Member State holding the six month Presidency of the EU. The Treaty would allow for a two and a half year EU Presidency, the holder being elected by QMV by the European Council. The President, who can hold the position for a maximum of two terms, would chair and co-ordinate the work of the European Council and will continue to be responsible for major policy decisions. In addition, all legislative meetings of the European Council must be open to public viewing.

European Parliament

Here is where we return to the Ordinary Legislative Procedure. The Treaty proposes to extend the powers of the European Parliament into areas such as agriculture (which seems to be causing some consternation in Ireland), asylum, immigration and judicial co-operation. The number of MEPs would be permanently reduced to 750, in addition to the President of the Parliament. The Parliament also gains greater powers over the entirety of the EU budget, having joint decision with the Council rather than having to present it to the Council for approval.

(Are you still with me? It truly is a huge amount to wade through and I’m beginning to see how people could be frustrated by the lack of transparency in the 294 pages)

Individual National Parliaments

By today’s rules, the national governments have no direct involvement in decision making. Under Lisbon, the Governments will have 8 weeks after the publication of a legislative proposal to vet the proposal and offer an opinion.

Things get a bit foggy when looking for information on the Power to Change Treaties. There is so much divisiveness on the subject that it is hard to find an unbiased explanation other than that of the Referendum Commission’s booklet.

At present the Treaties governing the EU are amended only by the Member States agreeing to an amending treaty which must then be approved by the Member States in accordance with their own constitutional traditions…for example in Ireland, a referendum may be required.

The Lisbon Treaty now proposes to give the European Council (Heads of Government) the power to propose changes to certain parts of the governing Treaties. Any such changes cannot increase the competence of the EU. Any such proposals must be agreed unanimously by the European Council. This means that any national government may veto such a proposal. If the European Council does agree a proposed change, then in order for it to come into effect, it must be ratified by the Member States in accordance with their own constitutional traditions. This may require a referendum in Ireland as happens at present.

The EU has the competence to decide policies and make laws only in those areas which are set out in the treaties. The Lisbon Treaty would specify who has the power to do what by listing the areas in which:

• the EU has exclusive competence – this means that the decisions must be made at EU level and not at national government level;
• the EU and national governments have joint competence;
• the national governments have exclusive competence but the EU may support and help to co-ordinate.

The Lisbon Treaty would give the EU joint competence with Member States in a number of new areas including energy and aspects of the environment and public health. It does not propose to give the EU any new exclusive competence.

This is such a contentious issue that I’m not going to offer my own opinions on it just yet. I want to keep this piece an unbiased as possible, and truth be told, I am still making up my mind on the whole thing. It is, however, worth pointing out that if the Treaty is ratified, there are a number of areas in which Ireland will be able to opt out, such as judicial and policing issues (known as the “Area of Freedom, Security and Justice”) and there are a number of issue that will not be affected by the Treaty at all, such as Ireland’s neutrality.

Charter of Fundamental Rights

The Charter of Fundamental Rights lists citizens’ political, social and economic rights. It is intended to make sure that European Union regulations and directives do not contradict the European Convention on Human Rights which is ratified by all EU Member States (and to which the EU as a whole would accede under the Treaty of Lisbon). In the rejected EU Constitution it was integrated into the text of the treaty and was legally binding. The Lisbon Treaty refers to it and raises it to the same legal standing as the main treaties.

Lisbon and (a very tired) Me

So, there it is, there is the information. There is more in it, but I think I’ve covered the important parts. There are sections which talk about minor changes (e.g the renaming of the Court of First Instance to the General Court, and the declaration that the euro is the official currency of the EU) but the essence is laid out above. I’ve made no arguments in favour nor against the Treaty. I am close to deciding whether to go Yes or No, but am still reading and listening to arguments.

A ‘Yes’ vote will change the Irish Constitution, ratifying the Treaty. Assuming all other EU countries accept the Treaty, it could come into effect early 2009. A ‘No’ vote will keep everything exactly as it is, our constitution will remain unchanged and the EU will be unable to adopt the Treaty, as it required agreement from ALL member states.

I will follow up this post with my own opinions, decisions, questions and ideas on the Treaty and I look forward to hearing what other people have to say.

Thank you for bearing with me throughout.

Notes:

• SarahCarey.ie
• Lisbon Treaty on the Wikipedia
• Lisbon Treaty Website
• Referendum Commission
  
• Libertas
• Fianna Fail
• Sinn Féin
• Fine Gael
• Progressive Democrats
• Labour

Okay, so it’s probably the most obvious statement you’re likely to hear this week, but Alisa Miller has conclusive evidence of the fact that Americans are blind to world affairs, and at TED, she lays out her information in a very interesting way.

Is it any wonder the Bush administration found it so easy to instill fear and paranoia in the Americans?

Among the many things we talked drunkenly about in the bar last night, the Cat Laughs featured heavily. We were making plans as to what we should see:

What should we aim to go see? I was thinking Neil Delamere, Maeve Higgins and Rich Hall for definite. After that, I’m easy.  A bit of improv will keep me happy.

We also spent much of last night putting the world to rights, but sadly, by morning, we forgot how to do it.

Here are our drunken poser pics:

And at the end of the night, there were cranes. Well, one crane - one huge crane over Grafton Street.

I love cranes!

I have a manbag! Yes, I am one of those metrosexual, fashion conscious, manbag-wearing men.

No, it does not contain make-up. It does not have compartments full of cleanser, moisturiser or foundation. I do not carry a spare pair of “comfortable” shoes around, nor do I have “overnight” clothes. My diary is not in there; my most recent birthday cards are not tucked away for safekeeping; my list of gifts for people who I might buy gifts for if there was an occassion for which I should by gifts for these people for for…is not in this bag.

It contains my Filofax. It has numerous pens. I have a multimedia card reader in one of the compartments. It houses my glasses (my sunglasses when I wear my regular glasses, my regular glasses when I wear my sunglasses). I have many cables - a standard USB cable, my phone charger, my camera charger, my iPod cable. It plays host to Darragh’s external harddrive and cable (I should probably return that).

It is full of pages - printed blogs, because I didn’t have time to read them in work, so I read them on the train; a collection of post such as bills and statements which I should file away at home but keep forgetting to do; le craic’s Blog Awards book which I keep meaning to give to Lottie; and lots of random crap, much of which I’m not even sure where it came from.

I have a manbag. I need a manbag! How did the Irish male function pre-metrosexuality? Though I’m sure I’ve just landed myself on Grandad’s list of “people I hate just because…”, I cannot give up on this vital tool. We spend 12 to 16 years or more carting around our school and college books, copies, lecture papers and notes - it’ hard to become pocket people.

My dad is a pocket person. He carries his keys, his wallet, his phone, his loose change, his lotto ticket, his tissue and his packet of chewing gum in two pockets. Young women say to him, “is that a phone in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” The answer is depressingly predictable.

In fact, my father only recenty invested in a wallet - an improvement on just throwing his cash, his ATM card and his change in the one pocket. How do these people cope?

In my wallet I have my ATM card, two credit cards, my Cineworld card, my annual Bus and Rail Card (and my stupid CIE card with a grinning fool on it), my student card, my loyalty card to Zumo, my loyalty card to SoBo, my Starbucks card, my Hughes and Hughes gift card, my (apparently out of date) HMV studen card, numerous random business cards, my own Moo cards, several receipts and a note reminding me of a dental appointment (21st August at 12.30).

I have manbag and I could not live without it. As I sit on the DART, attempting to clear out all the crap from it, I realise there is more stuff in it that I need to keep than there is junk I can afford to cast away.

I have a manbag - don’t judge me!

Well, I didn’t have my giant picnic in the green yesterday evening, but I did get to enjoy another amazing lunch today, listening to Divine Comedy on the iPod and watching the people go by.

Would anyone like to suggest a decent beer garden for this evening after work? I have no interest in hibernating for the evening - I want good company, a nice few cold pints and maybe a bit of decent music (or at least some good conversation).

If ever I needed a conclusive reason to love the amazing Lottie, here it is. Look what she gave me for dinner last night.

Apparently Rick O’Shea is more than just an online entity and blog awards presenter (Photo by the amazing Rymus). He doesn’t just spend his days photoblogging and trawling the Interweb in search of interesting tidbits to share with us. It seems, in his spare time, he is also a DJ of sorts on 2FM.

So, to keep him from whinging, as soon as Ray Foley calls it a day, I switch over to hear what Mr Rick has got to say for himself. And it had better be good. My radio remote isn’t working - I’ve had to get up from my desk and walk over to change the radio station.

Being that I am an active listener, I am armed with Rick’s email address, rick@rte.ie, and the show’s text number, 51552. I intend on participating.

__________

He’s been looking for suggestions from his listeners of things to do this evening. Some have suggested skinny dipping, some have suggested a few cold ones down the beach. I think we should all hit St Stephen’s Green en masse and have a giant picnic - I’ll pick up about 40 bottles of Fanta orange. Who’ll get the ham sambos? Maybe O’Brien’s will sponsor it if I agree to put their logo on the blog –>

__________

After 3 o’clock, Rick is looking for dodgy business practices. We can only assume he’s going to set up the private sector’s equivalent of the Office of the Ombudsman. It began with the estate agent in the UK who put up his own For Sale signs on empty houses, to give the impression he was selling properties left, right and centre. There’s supermarkets who use out of date sweets in their pick and mix. And then there’s the employer that printed payslips on the back of the menus and put them in used envelopes before giving them to staff. Isn’t that just being environmentally aware?

__________

The music on the show is chosen brilliantly. There’s a good mix of modern mainstream tracks with a bit of old fashioned cheese thrown in as well. It pains me to admit it, but I think I’ve been Rick rolled into becoming a 2FM listener (well, for three hours each day anyway).

Rick’s blog is here; his 2FM site is here; he does Bebo and MySpace; here’s his FaceBook page. If you can’t catch the show each day, the PodCast is available here.

Dance your cares away
Worries for another day
Let the music play
Down at Fraggle Rock!

The Fraggles are back! It seems Jim Henson and the Weinsteins are making a Fraggle movie in which the Fraggles venture out of their caves to visit the human world.

For those of you who don’t remember the Fraggles, they were Muppets that came in a wide variety of colors and had tails that bear a tuft of fur on the end. They lived in a system of caves called Fraggle Rock that were filled with all manner of creatures and features. Fraggles lived a very carefree life, spending most of their time playing, exploring, and generally enjoying themselves. They live primarily on a diet of radishes and “doozer sticks”.

Dance your cares away
Worries for another day
Let the music play
Down at Fraggle Rock!

Work you cares away!
Dancing’s for another day!
Let the Fraggles play!
We’re Gobo, Mokey, Wembley, Boober, Red!

Woweeee!
Wow-eeee!

“Ooooh a Fwaggle! Hehe, hey look Ma, I caught a Fwaggle!”
“Ahhhhhhh!”
“Wahhhhhhhhhhh! Woopee!“

Dance your cares away
Worry’s for another day
Let the music play
Down at Fraggle Rock!
Down at Fraggle Rock!
Down at Fraggle Rock.

For more details see Variety.com or check out the Wikipedia

And post 101. Nothing lengthly or meandering, but it is thought provoking.

It’s just a taste of the great daily comic Garfield Minus Garfield. Travors removes Garfield from the daily strip to create a examination of single life, of living alone, of schizophrenia and the infinite sadness of having a dull life. I’m not joking. This strip is genius. Here’s yesterday’s taster:

I’m having an odd sense of déjà vu. At the exact moment I clicked on the ‘Write New Post’, something triggered in my brain and I felt as though I had done all of this before - all of this, in precise detail…the same bunch of links open on my desktop, the search for a ‘milestone’ image, the bloggery. I feel certain that I dreamed all of this, maybe years ago.

I know what you’re thinking and I haven’t gone mad, nor am I drinking at the moment. I really am having some king of Matrix moment.

Perhaps it has something to do with the subject matter of this post. I have been thinking back over the past two months of blogging, as this is an important post for me (is it possible to be nostalgic over the immediate past?). This is my 100th post!!!

At the end of February, Mr Doyle informed me he was dragging me to the Blog Awards, and I caught the bug. I wasted no time in opening my life up to the online world, discussing my adoption, my theatre going, my college worries and my thoughts on blogging.

More importantly, I discovered I was not alone. Grannymar, Grandad, Alexia and the Lionesskeeper; Ken, Ross, Anthony and Ben; Laura, Elly, K8 and another Darren; all bloggers in a landscape that seems to change and expand for me everyday.

It’s been particularly pleasing to meet a few of my fellow bloggers at the Big Yellow Helium Balloon Night Out (and the bits I forgot) and at Ellybabe’s Birthday. I hope to be able to get to Alexia’s Bloggers’ Night Out on Saturday too.

In recent times, Lottie has even picked up her quill (or whatever the www version is) and this week sees Andrew open up his life on his blog, Chancing My Arm. A very funny and inciteful insightful guy, I recommend keeping an eye on what he gets up to.

So, what of the future? I’ll keep reviewing movies and any new music that comes my way (I’ve just downloaded Band of Horses, under Andrew’s recommendation, so we’ll see how that goes). I hope to talk more about adoption - my experiences, those of parents who have adopted and also those of people trying to adopt at the moment (Siobhan White writes an excellent piece in today’s Indo). I’m going to talk more about my creative journey - I WILL LEARN TO PLAY THE GUITAR!! And I’m looking forward to giving my first post as Gaeilge (we start our Irish lessons in two weeks). Oh, I’ve been working on my first podcast too, Ken will be delighted to know.

So, thank you very much to everyone who has read my blog across the last 100 posts, and especially thank you to those who commented. The biggest thanks must go to the miniscule in stature, but huge in life Darragh Doyle. So, raise a glass to my next 100 posts and please, spread the word.

If anyone want to drop me a line, email me at mail@ my domain or just leave a comment.

It’s tough to admit, it’s a dark disturbing and, some would say, sickening secret - I’m a Eurovision fan.

Some of my fondest memories of being a child include being gathered around in front of the TV excitedly watching the results of the Eurovision each year. We would shout at the screen, place bets (I won over three pounds one year!!), and laugh at the awfulness of most of the songs.

As I’ve gotten older, my interest wained and I missed the show entirely for a year or two, but in 2006 I got hooked again.  It’s criminal that LT United’s We Are the Winners didn’t win, and wonderful that Ireland was the only country who got the humour enough to give it 12 points.

This year, however, humour, irony and social commentary are nowhere near good enough reasons for putting that awful piece of shite, Irelande Douze Pointe, into the competition.  I, for one, will be hoping we don’t even make it to the final.

It won’t stop me watching the show though!!!

Finding time to write these blogs can be tough and I do wonder how so many bloggers can write at such length while also having a social life.

Running for the bus on Friday after work, trying desperately to get home early (knowing we had a long journey ahead that evening), my mind was attempting to formulate its thoughts on TodayFM, some old movies and the influence of blogging on the lives of the common man. I used the hour’s bus ride home to write a couple of posts for the weekend and when I got home, I set them to publish at intervals over Saturday and Sunday. Is this how other people do it? Maybe I just need to find my rhythm and routine.

We finally set off (Lottie, Mary and I) at 8 o’clock on Friday evening, heading for Waterford to visit R and her boyfriend, Brian. And what ensued was a brilliant weekend of copious alcohol intake and long conversations (some meaningful, most meaningless) deep into the night. In contrast with many of our weekends away with friends, MarioKart, Singstar, Karaoke, even the TV barely featured. It was a good old fashioned talk-a-load-of-crap sojourn.

R is a girl I was friends with many years ago, when we were all praying for an end to our school days. We met when our two groups of friends combined for nights out and always got on very well together. In 2000, when Lottie and I abandoned Wicklow in favour of the Big Smoke, I lost touch with even my best friends at the time, so it is hardly shocking that my associations with R fell by the wayside too. Early last year, thanks to the forums I frequented, I began chatting with an argumentative, feisty and brilliant girl. It took us a very short time to recognise each other and instantly renewed our friendship. No, we formed a new friendship, in fact. Void of any pretence or veiled intentions - she became one of my best mates.

Last August, I think, she began seeing Brian, a truly lovely guy, who I immediately clicked with. He’s odd, attention seeking, nerdish and bookish and loves his movies - we were destined to hit it off.

So, Saturday night saw us dine out in a wonderful Asian restaurant in Waterford city (it is a city, isn’t it?) to celebrate Brian’s birthday. The food was wonderful, the drink flowed freely and the company was perfect.

Happy Birthday, Sir, and thank you both for having us down for the weekend.

My working morning begins as I give the dodgy radio on the mantelpiece in my office a good bash to turn it on. Unless my co-worker has been trying to annoy me by tuning in 98FM, it will be pre-tuned and I will be greeted by the sound of Ray D’Arcy saying something awkward and sounding embarrassed about it. Ray D’Arcy: Ireland’s answer to Hugh Grant in Four Weddings (and pretty much anything else he’s in).

Together with Will ‘There’s a Way‘ Hanafin, Mairead ‘I’ve Got a Fancy TV Career Now‘ Farrell and Jenny ‘Ray, Stop That‘ Kelly, the show’s often inciteful, often ludicrous chatter and interviews provide invariably riveting radio. I’d be lost without this show to start my day.

At midday, I switch off the professional, responsible and respectable TodayFM and turn on something that resembles a hospital radio station in an asylum where the inmates have taken over the airwaves. Ray Foley’s, ‘just a bit of fun for your lunchtime’, is fantastic. When heard Foley was moving from his late night show, the Blast, to an afternoon show, I was both thrilled and nervous. There was no way he could take his zany, risque and altogether collegic radio show and transfer it to a mainstream slot, without losing his edge. Happily, I was wrong.

Foley, JP and Adelle (and Ann) are all about the fun. I laugh my way through the afternoon listening to the show. And Foley’s blog is one of my favourite subscriptions (of course it doesn’t compare with Mr. Rick’s).

The only real kink in todayFM’s armour comes in the afternoon with Tony Fenton. He’s a real old fashioned DJ and sounds awkward and out of place. Trying desperately to pick up the pace of Foley’s show, he succeeds at being a mere stopgap between Ray’s show and The Last Word at 4.30. And while he does at least play some good music, the only real reason I listen is that I’m too lazy to switch over to Rick O’Shea on 2FM.

Matt Cooper’s Last Word is a definite change of pace. It’s a talk show that doesn’t sound like they gave Dr Phil a Irish radio slot, nor does it sound like some stuffy ‘we only want to talk about classical music and theatre‘ arts show. They discuss relevant events from the day’s news and have significant guests with a presenter who can play devil’s advocate on any topic, without sounding like an argumentative fool. More than once I have stayed in work late just to hear the conclusion to some heated debate.

There was a time I would attempt to listen to the radio on the DART in the morning and evening, but the reception was erratic and intermittent, so I settled on iPoddery and reading the newspaper. So, sadly, I miss out on the brilliant Ian Dempsey in the mornings, but his podcasts are available for free via iTunes, which is a bonus.

In the car, Lottie (with her radio remote on the steering wheel) tends to channel surf, looking for Beyonce and Britney tracks, but we generally revert to TodayFM before long. The Tom Dunne Show is music radio at its best. He plays great classic tracks, interspersed with brilliant commentary and also introduces the listener to a variety of new music without alienating the masses.

TodayFM is a brilliant station and I am an avid fan. That said, I don’t have all the Bertie Gift Grub album, I never got a Bobble Head Ray, I don’t have a ‘Just a Big of Fun for Your Lunchtime’ T-Shirt, and I don’t have a Something Happens album. Can I still call myself a fan? I think so!

It’s just brilliant. It really is. The Wii is a masterful piece of engineering and it has been marketed by the best.

Apparently, a huge proportion of people who have bought Mario Kart on the Wii are buying a games console for the first time. Think about that. Surely no other game or games system in recent years has seen so many ‘lay people’ turn to geekery. Perhaps the DS, another Nintendo invention, can claim to be the leader that safely guided technophobic people into the promised land of gaming, but the Wii is the machine that will keep them playing.

We have the two wheels for Mario Kart and know how to use them. Gone are evenings of three course meals and a quiet glass of wine as we discuss the highs and lows of unified field theory (It could be true - you don’t know!!!), replaced with shouts and screams from both of us as we try to pass each other on Mario’s frenetic racing courses. And not just each other; the Wii allows gamers to race against each other all across the world, improving the experience even more.

Forget about buying Grand Theft Auto, it will just encourage you to go and kill taxi drivers. Stick with Mario Kart - fun for all the family. :p

Not long after playing the sleezy Griffin Mill in Robert Altman’s The Player and just prior to playing the iconoclastically hopeful Andy Dufresne in Shawshank, Tim Robbins further flexed his diverse acting muscles by playing the hapless Norville Barnes in the Coen Brothers’ The Hudsucker Proxy.

Joel and Ethan Coen have time and time again proved their wit and dark humour: Fargo, Raising Arizona, The Big Lebowski. With Hudsucker, they proved they had great filmmaking skills too.

Opening with a spectacular shot of snow falling over a beautiful city, we pan in over the rooftops until it comes upon the Hudsucker Industries building, with a huge clock about to ring in the New Year. And we are presented with a man about to jump to his death. The rest of this hilarious film is told through flashback as we watch the fascinating tale of Norville Barnes and what brought him to that ledge.

Barnes, a country bumpkin hick, hits the Big Apple with the intention of becoming a New York City executive. His timing is magical as he enters the doors of Hudsucker Industries just as the Hudsucker board determines it needs a patsy to run the company into the ground so it can buy up shares when the company goes public in a month. Not knowing that he is actually expected to run the company down, full of energy and completely incompetent, he tries his best to save the company, but with bad advice from big cheese Mussburger (Paul Newman) he is destined to follow the board’s plan to take the share price to the floor. Barnes hires Amy (the fast-talking Jennifer Jason Leigh, in a role very different to last week’s Dolores Claiborne) as his assistant, but unbeknownst to him, she is a reporter trying to expose him. The only kink in an otherwise incredible movie, Leigh’s grating portrayal of a 40’s or 50’s wisecracking strong woman is too over the top, but this only further highlights the brilliance of both Robbins and Newman.

The film is punctuated by sparkling art direction, fabulolus sets, snappy dialogue, and terrific supporting turn from Paul Newman, make this a classic movie that missed out on many deserving awards.